Feeling sad, not too bad, yourself?

I just want a rest, I can't hack living, life goes on and on, perhaps I'm depressed, sorry to rain on your parade, but I'm sad. I like buying things maybe I'm manic. I bought a toaster and a jug, and a stupid little torch, and a smart fan, with a remote that bamboozles me I just wanted to turn the thing off it seems to be running when it's not plugged in, the actual fan goes from side to side and up and down, who ever heard of that? But it blows up a storm, and doesn't make much noise, good buy coonigan. And I bought an Apple watch, for a hefty price but I haven't got it yet it has mobile and GPS and such like. About $800 USD worth of device. Bloody good job. And then there's the microwave and the fridge, essentials for my room. My brother wonders why they haven't confiscated the things. Fuck that. I own the room, I pay for having an en suite about $7USD a day for Christ sake. I won't be told what I can and can't have. Must give us pause, my external hard drive with the Madonna with the big boobies, has fucked out. I don't think it's the drive, it doesn't seem to have power. Well at least I hope it's not the drive, all my films and stuff on it 10tb worth of stuff, good god. But if god were good I wouldn't be where I am today, no way, I wouldn't have lost the plot, eating icecreams on a stick, killing myself with kindness as my mother would have it. It was a long hot summer and those icecreams were essential. Joy bars, jelly tips, and so on, eek, give me more.