Re: no tattoo

Totally understand. You were always great support when you were on LL. Hope you are well and work is going well. Hope to see you again on LL. Why not tattoo? I am feeling almost convinced it is a good idea even though I hate it. I told my nephew recently I was going to do it and he told me he would be sad if I did because he hates them too. But this is about me and closure and not about him. I need to somehow commemorate him forever and this is a way to do it. I understand what you are saying however I have been very sociable lately especially when I moved abroad. I have a good circle of friends, which I thought was impossible. My idea when I traveled abroad was that I will do my work and then go back home and play video games. I never thought I would make friends with adults and I did. I have many friends now. My relationship with my nephew is still very strong but it lacks the extra magic that once was. I visited him recently and I was holding hands with him when we were out while on a walk to keep him close by and we are chatting. Also now he started learning to text so I tell him whenever he feels like texting me he should. I always loved his personality and I feel close to him when we text. But it is not the same as before and I feel the distance and it kills me. I think he also feel it because I took a picture recently with him and his sister and clearly the sister is happy to be with me but I feel the loneliness in his face that he is with me. I am sure he senses that I am unable to provide for him as I used to before. I think what I am going through is normal for a boylover. The crushing feeling that age has gotten the better of my nephew is just nauseating. People are just having difficulty relating to my experience, which I find puzzling. Thank you again for everything and wishing you well.