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What about the damage that he has done to the boy? What are you even saying? That its ok to do this because not everyone is meant to be monogamous? That its just a limit that boylovers have and everyone needs to deal with it? that being honest with your feelings makes this ok? Or what? He doesnt even acknowledge that he has done anything damaging. Hes not being honest in that respect. Maybe I have misunderstood and thats not what happened, but from reading what he wrote, he has removed himself from the boys life. You might think I dont get it, but I do. I have been in similar situations, although usually its that as the boy grows up, they have other things to do and little or no time to spend with me. Thats painful, but thats ok. Thats not what happened here. If you did this( pretty much reject them overnight) to an adult, that would be bad, and hurt the other person. To do it to a child, whose close relationships have an impact on how they see the world and themselves for the rest of their lives, and to do it to a child whos sense of self is likely already damaged (he is being bullied by his parents) is beyond my comprehension. If his OP acknowledged this, and was looking into how he could avoid doing that, or how he could not end up doing that in the future, then great. But he would do it again if he got the chance. Hes not looking to understand what happened, hes looking to feel ok about it so he can move on. Its all about the impact on himself, and how the world just needs to accept that boylovers are like this. "Why cant the boy just move on?" If this is really how boylovers are, then no wonder we are hated and despised. Most people, in particular heterosexuals, fail to that standard. Are we to pretend that they don't know what love is? We dont need to pretend anything. If one minute the person is the greatest thing since sliced bread, you love them to the moon and back, you would do anything for them, you would die for them, you cant live without them, and almost within a single moment, you switch to not wanting to be with them, your smile goes away when they are around, and you dont care about them and their feelings, then yes, thats some sort of bizarre co-dependency or some other psychological phenomenon, not love. Or they were in love with a concept, or an idea, rather than a flesh and blood real person. If love can turn from a person being your whole world, to someone you cant bear to be around, literally overnight, then what does it even mean to love someone? https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-love-bombing-cycle.html idealize, devalue, discard. I have idealized. I have put boys on pedestals. Most BLs have. And I can see that it can be quite a dangerous thing to do. What can we learn about ourselves from knowing this? What does it say about me, and about boylovers in general? what needs am I fulfilling by doing this? Is it healthy? their delusions became their pitfall. yes, his delusions are part of what happened here. Unfortunately they have also caused hurt to someone else. |